Beyond Borders 11/20/10

Where do I feel drawn to visit next? On the map Sevilla is only a finger print away from Portugal, Morocco, Egypt, and on to expand myself to another unknown jewel a short journey from my current comfort is being searched for.. There is something interesting about finding myself drawn some where beyond borders that I have not realized is so freeing and right in me, until walking this journey. The borders of my life have been constricted to the northwest of the United States. The idea, the dream of somewhere beyond has only been a twinkle in my day dreams. Although I have found ways to venture out of borders before this journey… walking the wild side …. living on the edge of existence, and following my wild hearts cravings. So far I have lived ever so sweetly and have been pleased with my vibrant life and have no regrets. Dancing began as an after school activity my mom would drive me to at three years old, transformed into an intrigue, joy, pleasure, and molded into deep rooted passion. Dance has found my heart and will stay existing in the middle forever. This soul alive expression has opened me to the necessity of an abundance of imagination and creativity in my internal inspiration driving my exterior vibrant reality. This craft is like water to me, I can not live with out. Always feeding my body exuberant nutrients to my mind and soul while rooting my toes and heals gently to ground. Nia a type of dance I found and felt immediately drawn to has changed my life. Through Nia I have expanded my borders and has helped me understand the root of freedom and real magic in me. bringing me to accepting and loving being off balance. In order to get back on track again you must fall and find your way up again. I think a life with out scrapes and bruises is so sterile and bleak. I have also found gratitude in my unique grace and also equal joy in the part of me that is really clumsy. I have so many reasons to explain being human is best. I know many people that I have not scene what makes them human? Some people hide there skeletons well. I have never been that person… thank goodness. Seeing, feeling, hearing what makes a person human makes them more interesting and attractive in this world.

I meet so many people that say I wish I would of ……. in my life, and then never fulfill what they actually want. What kind of life is that? I have had luxury in my life to have that idea of what “I want and dream” to be priority. My life has unraveled my hearts desires. It has not always been easy to keep those desires a priority either. With obstacles always finding a way to blockade me in making me think there is no way around. This journey to Europe is one of the biggest times in life where, no matter how creative those dam obstacles would be in getting in my way, I could find a way around them. I would walk over them, through them, crumbling them patiently with an ice pick to a point where…one day I found a clear path to my dream with the sunsetting in the distance, reassuring me to not giving up is the only way to breath. Some people in this world ask for what they want and they get it instantaneously. I have never gotten what I wanted easily in my life. In the past, I have envied those people that get what they want with out a drop of sweat on their forehead, but at the end of the day and turning thirty this year I can finally say, ” I am so glad I am not that women.” The lessons and appreciation I have gained for getting what I want because I have worked hard remaining strong without giving up, and a heart that never stops beating for my destiny. A life so much more rewarding and rich with angles unexpected and holes I have fallen in have given me the gift to swim in a cleansing gratitude of now finally… it is my turn. The universe is there for you if your ready. I am ready and taking the next step only seeing what surrounds me…

After this life altering journey I have found the urge for the west coast, onward to Lisbon, Portugal. The need to jump…. The desire to feel uncomfortable heat dripping down the center of my spine…. The want to understand the heart of another culture… To dance like no one is watching. I want to clear the clouds and touch the hands of layered Portuguese ancestors. Ask questions and find out answers from the mouths of land born souls, see with my own eyes and feel with my own heart the music of Lisbon, Fado. This is living to me.

I hop onto a bus late in the moon lit hours, winding directly into another dream country, leaving Spain behind. After a long night of traveling on a bus with a fever rising in my sinus cavities, my head is heavy and hot. I am still awake and thrilled to take my first step on the lonely streets of Lisbon, Portugal. Walking with my backpack on my back, written directions to a hostel in one hand and a tissue in my other catching the drips from my nose. At the end of this street, take a right. Alright this feels right… I came to a fork and a steep hill leading me down towards an incredible view over looking the city and the sun began to rise painting the city with an orange glow. The view unfolded and stole my breath for a long extended moment. This unique view is where I looked from my hostel bedroom terrace for the next four days. I stayed at a community nurturing hostel that became my favorite;called the Oasis Backpackers Mansion. I battled through my sickness with shots of salt water up my nose every couple hours, buckets of fluids, some yummy yet cheap local soups, and long challenging nights of sleep. I take it easy on myself and my curiosity of a new country continues with a little less energy…. I walk on. The city of winding roads leading up and down waves of endless hills leading me to various views of the Atlantic ocean. I followed the current to The Museum of Fado where the slow music told me a story about the people of Lisbon. A story of despair and of love. The music brings emotion and sadness while stewing a strong direct feeling of hope. Not able to translate the language, did not stop me from feeling the hearts of the music through the way local fingers would slowly strum the Portuguese guitar in dark shadows left behind of the soothing sounds of Fado voices echoing the pavement of the Lisboan streets. Intriguing me deeply into a silence of listening to my heart beat out of my chest wanting more …….thump …..thump… ……to see and share beyond borders.